Day 50: Fargo Rock City! ...or "Blood Has Been Shed Jerry"
Monday... September 10th...
Sorry Ma… You’re not gonna like this one…
I woke up. Got a bowl of cereal. Took a shower. Cleaned my bike. Looked over my maps. Rode my bike to the thrift store and bought some warm clothes. Got a flat tire. Patched the flat tire. Immediately got another flat tire…
CROSSED THE RIVER INTO FARGO, ND!
Took the bike to a shop… got a new tube… got a new chain… Crossed back into Minnesota, Bought Thermal Underwear and Socks… Bought Gloves…
I was not getting out of Fargo today… I didn’t want to bother Larry by asking to stay for another day… so I had previously hit up couchsurfing.com and found 2 guys who would be willing to put up with me for an evening. And then I’ll leave EARLY tomorrow!
With my newfound freedom to waste the day… I headed out to Southwest Fargo and hit up the CHILIS in town. It’s a ways out of the way… but it’ll give me a chance to break in my new chain… Which I find out is in dire need of breaking in. I sputter my way down 13th Street to dinner… It is the last Chili’s until Seattle, but it isn’t all that great. I call up Tyler and let him know that I am coming over. I ride back into downtown and find Tyler and Matt’s place. Their apartment is really nice, and we talk for a couple minutes… mostly they are warning me about what lies ahead in North Dakota… It sounds scarier than I had been expecting. I had been hoping that once I hit HWY 2, it won’t be quite so barren… but now I’m not so sure. Almost as soon as I arrived, Tyler and Matt start brainstorming people they know across the state that I might be able to stay with along the way… Tyler begins making phone calls almost immediately and within the hour, he has found 2 places for me to stay and a possible 3rd. There is a small network of people (Tyler’s family) intent to find me housing for the week. I can’t believe how lucky I was to find these guys.
The guys treat me to some Sushi (Thanks Matt)… and I find myself wishing I hadn’t eaten at that Chili’s… After the sushi… I am really, really stuffed, so when they mention going to a pub, I am apprehensive… but hey… I could use a good time… It’s been a long time since I’ve done any drinking, and the loneliness of the road has been killing me recently... So I decide I’m up for it.
We walk from their apartment to the downtown strip of bars. Our first stop is a fairly standard bar… I can’t remember the name… but it’s a good time… I find out that you don’t tip bartenders as much in North Dakota, as you do in NYC… But It feels awesome to pay $12 for 3 Gin and Tonics… top shelf Gin.
Drink #1 We discuss traveling. Tyler has just gotten back from spending a year all over the place. He’s got a lot of stories, and it makes me excited to see Europe. I really want to see Shanghai too, but that will probably have to wait for a while.
Drink #2 Funny story about a psycho Asian girl who wanted to have sex in a dumpster
Drink #3 It’s a shot called the Chuck Norris… because it “packs a punch”… surprisingly fruity… Tyler is very quick to mention (loudly) to everyone in earshot that I am on a cross country bike ride. I guess it is a good conversation starter, huh?
Drink #4 Drinking it quickly… as we are apparently heading out to a different bar…
The next bar is a little seedier, and the clientele a bit more “rural”… but the interesting thing is that every bar in Fargo has gambling going on inside the establishment.
Drink #5 Matt and Tyler each chip in five bucks and put some chips down on the roulette table… they actually hit it the first time! They put 10 more dollars back on the table and hit it again! They just won $80…. Insane…. Next they buy about 10 dollars worth of “pull-tabs”… which are like instant win lottery tickets that are sold exclusively in bars. None of them are winners…. On the ground are THOUSANDS of these pull tabs… all losers.
Drink #6 In the next room someone does CREEP by Radiohead on Karaoke (which is pronounced CURR-OKIE here) and he has a southern drawl to his voice…. I was hoping it was some road-worn old man in a country hat, but it was actually a younger guy. Tyler gets up and does a Ben Harper song. I immediately have flashbacks to Alex and Allison in College. Who was right about BEN HARPER, Allison?! WHO?!
Drink #7 We play pool. I don’t win. Some girl does a KARAOKE song from some 80’s hair-metal band. I see other girls singing along… It is explained to me that Fargo is where 80’s rock goes to die… and that those bands you’ve long assumed to be dead are in constant rotation at the Fargo County Fairgrounds.
Drink #8 We are at a 3rd bar. I’m starting to realize that I am probably drinking a little too heavily for a man with a goal to ride his bike 70 miles tomorrow. Hey! Matt and Tyler buy me a T-shirt with the name of the bar on it: “Sports Bar”.
Drink #9 We are at a 4th bar for last call… They are very insistent about last call, practically flickering the lights off and on when they want people to leave.
*There might have been more drinks…. But I really can’t remember all of them.
We stumble back to their apartment and its very cold out. I am wishing I had changed into a pair of pants… and also I am wishing I had brought my camera tonight. Tyler and Matt offer to drive me a ways out of town if I need to sleep in tomorrow – Normally I would outright refuse the assistance of a ride… but I have a hunch I will want to take them up on that offer.
Once inside the apartment, Matt dispenses his hangover prevention wisdom…. Burnt toast, Advil, and water... Everything is spinning as I go to sleep… It would be embarrassing to vomit in a stranger’s house. But if I had to vomit in some stranger’s house, I am glad it would be these guys…. They are without a doubt the coolest guys I’ve yet met on the road. I really like Fargo, and I had a really fun night. A good way to start out the barren stretch of loneliness that is NorthDakotaMontanaIdaho.
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